The World's Greatest Criminal Mind is a song written by Henry Mancini.
“The World's Greatest Criminal Mind ” is sung on-screen by Professor Padraic Ratigan and his henchmen, as a form of celebration for Ratigan being about to set his new and most ambitious plan in motion. The song is interrupted by a drunken Bartholomew who foolishly calls Ratigan a rat; Ratigan executes him by feeding him to Felicia, and orders the other thugs to resume singing, unless they want to suffer the same fate.
RATIGAN: From the brain that brought you the Big Ben Caper,
The head that made headlines in every newspaper
And wondrous things like the Tower Bridge Job,
That cunning display that made Londoners sob,
Now comes the real tour de force,
Tricky and wicked of course!
My earlier crimes
Were fine for their times,
But now that I'm at it again
An even grimmer plot has been simmering
In this great criminal brain!
THUGS CHORUS: Even meaner? You mean it?
Worse than those widows and orphans you drowned?
You're the best of the worst around…
Oh Ratigan! Oh Ratigan! The rest fall behind!
To Ratigan, to Ratigan, the world's greatest criminal mind!
RATIGAN (speaking while playing the harp; Ratigan's Theme plays in the background on a flute"): Thank you… Thank you. But it hasn't all been champain and cavia! Oh, I've had my share of adversity… thanks to that miserable, second-rate detective -- Basil of Baker Street! For years, that insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans! No, I haven't had a moment's piece of mind… But all that's in the past! This time, nothing, not even Basil can stand in my way! ALL WILL BOW BEFORE ME!
THUGS CHORUS: Oh Ratigan! Oh Ratigan!
You're tops, and that's that!
To Ratigan, to Ratigan,…
BARTHOLOMEW: …to Ratigan, the world's greatest rat!
(Interruption: Bartholomew is killed by Ratigan)
RATIGAN: I trust there will be no further… interruptions. Now, as you were singing…?
THUGS CHORUS: Even louder, we'll shout it!
No one can do what we know you can do!
THUGS CHORUS: You're more evil than me, than you,
THUGS CHORUS: Oh Ratigan!
THUGS CHORUS: You're one of a kind!
THUGS CHORUS: To Ratigan,
THUGS CHROUS: To Ratigan,
THUGS CHORUS: …The World's Greatest Criminal Miii-iii-iii-iii-i-i-i-ind!
- A slightly different version that went in more gruesome details into Ratigan's older crimes was deleted from the movie for being too dark, but was used in the CD offered with a storybook adapted from the movie.